


There's No Triumph

by appalachianemo



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: also this is kinda angsty and emotional, but like it's backstory so i guess it's up to you, i guess there's mild spoilers?, it's spoilers for backstory revealed in the 11th hour arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 08:32:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18246194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appalachianemo/pseuds/appalachianemo
Summary: Sure, the Tres Horny Boys have joined the Bureau of Balance and are apparently helping to save the world. But they did just destroy an entire town. Is that really something they can deal with. Is that something they'll be able to continue to deal with if it happens again?





	There's No Triumph

**Author's Note:**

> so i had this thought last night and sent they told me i almost killed them. so i decided to turn it into a roughly 1700 work fic! enjoy! feel free to come scream at me on my tumblr [@emomagnusburnsides](http://www.emomagnusburnsides.tumblr.com/ask) about it.  
> and as usual, the title is from a The Wonder Years song. this time it's from "I Just Want To Sell Out My Funeral"

Taako, Magnus and Merle stared out over the black glass that used to be Phandalin. _They_ had done this. Not intentionally of course, but through their own incompetence and unwillingness to listen to a single thing Killian had told them, they were responsible. The entire town was just _gone._ Just the three of them, and an unconscious Killian were left. The only other thing that could be seen was the glove, still on gundren’s hand, sticking straight up in the air, Not that any of them would admit it, but the guilt they felt was going to swallow them alive. There was nothing they could do now, though, but accomplish what was right in front of them.

The three knew they needed Killian to wake up so they could figure out what was going on. So, Magnus took her crossbow and bolts, Taako took the gauntlet, and Merle healed her. Naturally Killian wasn’t happy about any of this, but she seemed impressed that they’d been able to get the glove and resist it. She decided they would definitely be useful to whatever it was she worked for, and whisked them off to the... Moon? They floated off above Phandalin, fully able to see the carnage they’d caused. Magnus was the first to turn away from the window, and Merle was pretty sure there were tears in his eyes. That didn’t matter though, as a hole opened up on the underside of the moon. For not they needed to focus on the present, focus on what’s happening _now_.

The next few hours were a blur. There was a nice guard, Avi, that gave them some brandy. And, well shit, of course he has had an uncle in Brandybuck _._ Then there was Johann, and his existential crisis. There was the Director and Davenport, who Magnus Merle and Taako all _swear_ they’ve met before. Then the Test of Initiation where Taako almost died for the second time. Then they finally, _finally_ found themselves shuffling into their own dorm. Well, almost their own. They claimed their own bunks and settled in for the night. They each knew, individually, that they would not be getting much sleep. There was nothing else to keep them occupied, just the soul deep exhaustion of a too long day. And a deep silence that threatened to suffocate them.

Magnus lay awake, far past midnight and close to day break. He couldn’t get the image of Phandalin out of his mind. A solid, smooth circle of black glass. There would be no ruins to sort through, nothing to investigate. It was all just... gone. People would return from their travels to find their home, inexplicably missing. There would be no loved ones to identify, no one to bury. And because of the Bureau, there wasn’t even anyone to trace this incident to. There would be people that wouldn’t ever be able to find peace, because their family’s killers roamed free. Just another town, miraculously gone, while the three responsible are welcomed into a new home with open arms.

While he lie awake Magnus wondered what made him any better than Kalen? He’d taken this town and literally burned it to the ground in his own carelessness. He’d thrown away human life because he thought he could handle things himself. _Would this really make Julia proud?_ There were so many moments where, if he’d stopped for just a moment, Magnus could have changed the fate of this town. Had he not listened to his reckless need to rush into everything and instead listened to taako or Merle or Killian, an entire town might still be standing.

A small voice tried to reassure him that he was still doing good. His failure had led him to join an organization to save the entire planet. But could he actually do that if he couldn’t even save a single town? Magnus felt his chest constrict, an anxiety that felt as old as the planet creeping up on him. If this was the collateral damage from one relic, what would happen with the rest? How was he supposed to protect entire cities and continents? If these relics were that strong, how was he even supposed to protect Taako and Merle? He carefully climbed out of bed, knowing sleep was not going to come tonight, and wandered through the unfamiliar base. If he was going to protect anyone at this point, he’d need to train harder. He was going to become the best fighter he could, he’d have to. He’d have to be strong enough for his friends, for everyone, if he was going to protect them.

Taako saw Magnus carefully shut the door behind him, as he stepped into the hall. He was probably going to exercise or something despite already being built like a brick shithouse. It seemed like the kind of things Beef Bones would do at four in the morning.  It didn’t matter to him, really. Taako was just peachy, or he would be if he could just get some meditation in. That didn’t seem possible, though. All he could think about was stupid Sazed and Glamour Springs and now fucking Phandalin. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the fire whipping around overtop of the well. He’d already killed forty people. Unarguably his fault. He was the one that mixed up elderberries and nightshade, hadn’t tried it first, and then served it.

Now there was entire town that was nothing but dust. Dust and a circle of black glass and, yet again, unarguably his fault. Well. Maybe a third his fault. Magnus had ran ahead on everything without stopping to talk or think. Merle just waddled along after him. They were equally responsible for this mess… Right? Although maybe, Taako thought, he should have tried harder to tell the other two dinguses not to do something. He’d tried _so hard_ to convince them that he simply did not care. But maybe he should just a little. After all, that same irreverence is what cost forty people their lives. And now... An entire town.

Magnus and Merle, and even the entire Bureau, seemed pretty quick to forgive the whole Phandalin fiasco, but what if it happened again? Would they be so forgiving a second time? Sazed had bailed on him after once incident, and they’d been traveling together for five years. He hadn’t even known these chucklefucks five weeks, what would they do. Taako tried to tell himself that it would be okay. Magnus acted like a loyal-to-the-death puppy and Merle the type to endlessly forgive people. But still, that deep-rooted fear of being alone, _again_ , threatened to claw it’s way out of his chest. Taako flopped onto his back, this was going to be a very long night.

Merle rolled onto his side, cursing under his breath. First Magnus had gotten up, and now Taako was insistent on flopping around like a fish on his bunk. Weren’t elves supposed to meditate? Wasn’t that supposed to be a quiet and _still_ thing? He didn’t know why he was so bitter. It’s not like he’d be sleeping anyways. Not after what happened earlier. His own cousin. He couldn’t even talk his own cousin out of that stupid oven mitt. Yet he was going to save the entire planet from the other six relics?

Merle was frozen in place with panic for a moment. _What if one of his kids grabbed one?_ But Maevis was too smart to give in, she would know better. Hell, Maevis was probably smart enough to track these things down herself, if she wanted to. She wouldn’t, though, Merle would make sure of that. Mookie, however. God he loved Mookie, but he certainly wasn’t the brightest in the bunch. Taako was fairly simple and he’d managed to resist it, though, so hopefully Mookie would too. At the very least, Mookie had Maevis to drag him away from it. All of that being said, it was still likely they could be caught in the crossfire of one of these damn things.

Merle tried to stop his mind from spinning, before it got carried away. Instead he just let himself focus on one question, _Why?_ Why the hell Pan had chosen him for this? Or was this even Pan’s doing? This seemed like the type of dumb, heroic shit Istus would get her followers into. Merle was just supposed to be a simple nature cleric. Healing people if they needed it (or at least attempting to) and telling them why their tulips weren’t budding like they should. The Highchurches and Rockseekers weren’t heroes. They were dwarves that liked to party and made questionable choices in tattoos.

So why had Pan picked him for this? Or did he really even care anymore? Merle knew he wasn’t the best cleric, never had been. His relationship with Pan, and religion itself, had always been shaky at best. This was probably his punishment for everything. He was supposed to be an upstanding member of the community. But here he was in a dorm on the moon having destroyed an entire town, and now being asked to save the world. Merle knew he’d probably die while doing this. Taako had almost died during the initiation test. He just hoped he’d be able to see his kids one last time. He’d walked out on them and hadn’t been the best father to begin with. That was gonna change though. He’d make a better effort until he died.

None of them looked at each other as they got ready and left for breakfast the next morning. They didn’t need to see the anxiety and sleepless night on each other’s faces. They knew. They weren’t surprised to see the same lines and dark circles on Killian’s face when they ran into her in the cafeteria. They weren’t sure what all Killian’s job entailed just yet, but they were sure yesterday wasn’t it. No one’s job should ever have to include that much damage and loss of life, yet they signed up for it anyways. But they couldn’t let that happen again. They _wouldn’t_ let it happen again. Taako, Magnus, and Merle would make sure of it.


End file.
